Random thoughts

I think I'll keep this as an ongoing thing that I can just punch into.

1. If the object of your argument is your MIL and the things she does, is your MIL coming between you? I'd say yes to this one. This past weekend was pretty good except for two arguments and neither of them would have happened if it weren't for his mother. Sunday, we had to sneak off to the early service at church so we wouldn't have to go with Stella but Kal being Kal ended up calling her afterward to go to breakfast with us. No she couldn't just meet us there we had to drive out of our way to pick her up and when the bill came she made no effort whatsoever to pick it up or help us out with the tip. We dropped her off at her house and thought we would have the day to ourselves. Buahh ha ha, what the hell was I thinking? She calls with the, Mijo, take me to Costco B.S. which he does of course. It's her ploy to get him to end up paying for her stuff so I tell Kal to let her pay for her own things and not use the American Express because we need to pay off our credit cards.

Well, I must have been naive to think Kal could go to Costco and not buy anything, it's just impossible, it's not in his DNA makeup. He comes home and told me he put over $200 on the American Express and I hit the ceiling. He gives me this "excuse" that he had to because they wouldn't take his mom's check. Wrong! That's why we got her the membership so they would take her checks. Plus I asked him to not put it on the American Express and he did. He said his mom's portion was $100 which means he spent over $100 on things we couldn't live without, like $65 worth of DVDs. Thus the first argument of the weekend that wouldn't have taken place but did because of her. As I see it, if his mom never called to have him take her to Costco, he wouldn't have gone either and we wouldn't have put $200 on our card.

The second argument happened on Monday evening when, like usual I prepared enough food for three when the phone rings at 6:30 and she says she is going to stay in Los Lunas. I snap at Kal that I am over making, and wasting food for her whims. On one hand I should be happy she didn't come over but on the other hand I'm big on giving notice. If I had known earlier in the day she wasn't going to be there I could have gone through the afternoon happy and peaceful, but no she is always in the back of my head. I finally told Kal that was it, I'm sick of her coming over whenever the hell she wants at whatever time as well. I want a set schedule such as she comes and eats here on Mon., Wed., Fri. nights but we need one full weekend day from awakening to bedtime alone without seeing her at all. Plus, the nights we do ask her over she needs to be here when we eat, I'm tired of her strolling in whenever she wants and expects to be waited on. We eat at 6:30 period, if you aren't here, I guess you miss dinner. I really think I'm being generous with our time but I have yet to see Kal do or say anything to her about it.

Case in point she calls last night about 6:30 inquiring about what's for dinner tonight and what did we have last night blah blah and says to Kal she'll be over to eat. I told Kal, great, I have a few things I want to talk to her about concerning coming over but he told me not to say anything to her, that he would take care of it. I just wonder when this will happen.

Feb 23. OK it has been a week now since Kal told me he would take care of things and nothing yet. I'm still waiting. She still can come over whenever she wants to at night and no consequences. The other day was a crack up when she said since she came over all the time to eat our food she wanted to "pitch in" with some groceries. She brought over a 40 oz jar of ranch dressing and a cantaloupe. I fricken hate cantaloupes.

Geez, Kal told me last night that Tina wanted us to come over for another rosary for Eric and Francine on Thurs. It's less then two weeks since the last one so I graciously said no thank you, not this time. Besides its Survivor night.

This afternoon I asked Kal if his mother was going to go to the rosary and he told me that Eric didn't want her there because of the negative energy she brings. So I'm thinking to myself oh great, Kal is going to Eric's and I'm going to be here when MIL shows up. I guess I have to be honest and tell her that her Mijo is praying. What hypocrites, praying for the good but not everyone is allowed to come.

End of the month worries

Here it is again, the end of the month and I have to go through my anxieties once again. One relief is Kal started working again last week but my worries, the thing I do the best grabbed hold. He started on Tues. and had to tell them he wouldn't be there on Fri. or the next Mon. because he was heading to San Francisco to go to yet another Star Trek convention. He wanted me to go but I know we didn't need to add another airfare plus the meals and purchases to our debt. Then we would have to pay someone to take care of the dogs so I said I would just stay home. I really don't mind and actually kind of like my solitude so I basically barricaded myself at home with my meat. Lindy came on Friday and we watched a movie had some snacks and a screwdriver. Come to find out MIL complained (what's new) that I didn't ask her over. I really wonder why the hell would I ask her over, I don't like her and she doesn't like me so what da? I am so thankful that I could have 4 days alone without her intrusions although she threatened us that she will come by tonight.

Anxiety relaxed today when Kal went into work and everything seems to be going good. He's out in the field and has a meeting with his boss this afternoon. I know these anxieties are still a result of the years of living with Walt and his lack of keeping employment. I would like to be able to get out there and work too but who wants a 53 year old dude that hasn't worked for 8 years. I don't want to keep asking for money from Tom but what can I do? I don't want to lose the house but would be willing to move to someplace smaller if we can be able to not have so much debt. I think that now is a good (the best) time to talk to Wendy and sell the cabin now that she is in financial problems too.

Not much more now but am going to try this box for labels for this post. Maybe then I can come back and write more about what I've started.

New Year, new problem

Eeeholay, the new year was only a few days old when the family's newest and probably biggest problem to date fell on our laps. Eric had been working for a hard wood flooring company since before I moved here in 01. It was the most bizarre business I had ever witnessed. His boss, Bob had the worst temper I had ever witnessed. He would blow up at his employees in front of us using language that would make a long shore man's hair curl. I maybe would have taken it once before walking out the door but was amazed Eric could hang in there and usually give it right back to Bob. It was very uncomfortable being at his office and hated to go there.

Eric was the office manager and was on the list of company officers and often told us that Bob didn't even know how to send a FAX so it was left up to Eric to do everything for the company. He had a company credit card and was in charge of all the finances including payroll.

A few years ago when Eric and Francine started getting all new furniture and a big screen TV Kal and I joked that maybe Eric was moving money around the company so they could get all of this "stuff". It was at this same time they were trying to get pregnant but due to both of their plumbing problems they were looking into invetro-fertilization and had two procedures that didn't work.

Last year Bob called Eric in and told him to gather all his stuff up and get out of the office immediately. Bob told him that after going through the books it was clear that Eric had embezzled about 90K from the business and they were going to go after him. Eric seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing thinking the company would recuperate their losses through insurance.

Well, guess what? Last week the Grand Jury heard the case and found Eric liable in about 12 charges of embezzlement so he and Francine wanted to gather the family (his) to tell us about it. Eric seemed too cool about it, Francine cried and seemed pretty convinced Eric was going to jail and MIL turned everything into "it's all about me" as usual talking about the time in El Paso when these guys were selling watermelons and she got arrested and put on a terrorist list and blah blah. After getting that off her chest the next thing was that the police have nothing better to do then harass Mexicans.

So there we are sitting around the table talking about the "what ifs". Eric and Francine are pretty much on line with the fact that they have to sell their house and move into an apartment. MIL told them they could move into her house but the last time that happened everything went to hell in a handbag. Does anyone really think it would be better now? Oh puhleez! Then MIL said she would put her house up for sale and if it sold Eric could have the proceeds and she would move in with her friend Sharon. Sharon may be her friend now but I know that the writing is on the wall that won't last long. MIL does not have any friends because of her personality and temper. She is the queen of being a victim because as far as she is concerned she is right and everyone else is a stupid idiot. Is it just a coincidence that in five years she has worked at three different schools in three different school districts? And that each of those principals were ass holes who didn't know anything.

OK I'm far from being a fan of MIL's and really love the periods when she is pissed off at us and doesn't come by or call but I think she is making a huge mistake if she sells her house for Eric. Number one, that is all she has and if she gives the money to Eric when (not if) she has that fight with Sharon she won't have any place to live and have no money and I fear she will want to move in with us. Knowing Kal is such a mush ball when it comes to his mom I know he will let her just like last summer when I really felt there was going to be a body found at our house. Number two, in my opinion Eric knows much more then he is telling us and I don't think he has a problem taking down his family with him. He knows his mom's financial position and I don't think he cares because I know he is thinking Kal and I will take her in, not him.

Another pisser is I sat there listening for the most part and when I heard MIL going on and on about helping out her mijo Eric financially the madder I was getting. I thought to myself why the fuck is she so worried about getting Eric money when she has owed me over $4500 for over 6 years without even one whisper about paying me back. Back when Efren Sr. passed away in 03 she didn't have the money to pay for his funeral and I was stupid enough to believe her story about how she could have me paid back within 4 months and "loaned" her the money. I still feel like a fucking chump when I think about that and of course Eric and Francine never made any effort to pay me anything to help out either.

I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that Kal hasn't mentioned our giving anything to help out his brother financially and he better not because as far as I'm concerned it ain't going to happen.