Holy Crap

Oh Holy Crap,
It has been in the works for months if not years about letting MIL move in here, I always thought and we had talked about when the time came that she couldn't take care of the horses she couldn't take care of herself. I knew last year when she rented her house out and was going to live with Sharon it would come to a screaming halt. The only thing that amazed me was that it lasted nearly 10 months before she got the bootarinno. Then she lived with another lady for less then a week or so.

Yesterday 4-5-12 Kal gets a call from his mom to let her into the house to take a shower while he was at work. Of course he drops everything to let her into the house. I come home after work and see her folder and a cup of water and think what da??? She comes by after I get home and I can hear from the kitchen about her needing a heater because it is so cold at night and I realize that she is sleeping in her shed but my honey didn't get it until she told him.

1st yelling of the move in

Do I need to take you in for evaluation? What the fuck are you living in a shed for? You are going to live with us.

She fucking moved in to our house this day and I swear it is going to be hell.

4-6-12
Not even 24 hours after the move in. We had been invited to go to Tom and Joe's for there Good Friday get together. I worked all day and Kal took the day off so when I get home he tells me that he isn't going to go. Tell them I'm sick blah blah.

So I go and lie to our friends for a little bit then tell them the truth. So the fact of the whole thing is Stella in less then 24 hrs has thrown a wedge between us. She has a unique ability to cut off her husbands and son's balls but so far I've got mine.

4-8-12 Easter
Well, we told her that the Easter service at our church starts at 6:30am but I am proud of Kal that he didn't go and wake her up. We just about make it to the church before his cell phone rings with the, "Why didn't you wake me up?" Typical mode of action to put the blame on anyone else but herself. It's his fault she didn't wake up. She didn't come to church but Kal must have a kink in his neck turning around looking to see if she was going to show up. We went to Linda's for brunch and she did get home in time for dinner.

4-9-12
My day off and here it is after 11am. Comcast was here for over 2 hours trying to fix our on demand feature and Stella stayed in bed most of the time until she went to the bathroom for over 45 minutes. She asked me if I was going to have lunch with Kal (Efren to her) today but I told her that Shane is supposed to come and work on the computer around noon. She says oh good, I'll go by myself then, so at about 11:15 off she goes to have lunch with "her mijo".
Shane shows up around 11:30 to work on the computer and I tell him I want to password safe the computer so when we aren't here she can't get into it and fuck it up.

Middle of the week
One morning when we were leaving for work she gets up and we are trying to discuss how to best arm the house and what to do. Kal and I are in the garage and she is poking her head out the door. I said only one line something like, "We don't have to arm the house when you are here." She gets that hideous look on her face and says, "That's just fine Kevin I won't have to be here."
We want to teach her how to arm the house but she is still sleeping every morning when we leave and we forget by bedtime to do it. Kal tells her to just lock it and he will come at lunch to arm it. He gets a call from her at work during a meeting and she tells him she is leaving so he comes back to the house to arm it. A little later he gets a call that she had just gone to Costco and could he come back to let her in. She doesn't care and he cow tows to her. She gets him feeling so upset he tells me to cancel the dinner I've set up for Sunday with Tom, Joe, Kelly and Roy that he doesn't want to see anyone. He keeps this up the guys are going to drop him, it's rude and very insensitive and she wins again.

4-16-12
She wants to do the poor pitiful me shit about how she can just move back into her shed at the property.  She can go to the bathroom behind the bushes and shower holding the hose above her head like her horses.  Then she asked if she could use our clothes washer or does she have to to the "washateia".  Piece of work.

4-17-12
Kal's birthday!  She doesn't even bother to get him a card.  Typical.  But, we ended up taking her to Yannies for dinner where she didn't even offer to take care of the tip.  After all we have done for her this is so inexcusable. 

4-23-12
It's 9:30am  LEAVE the house so I can have some time to myself.
She did finally leave and then later on in the day I heard from Kal and they had words and she said she was going to stay in her shed and he didn't fight her on it.

4-24-12
Got a text from Francine that MIL had called Eric and was telling him that she couldn't afford her property either and she felt that since the boys were going to inherit the property one day they should start making the payments for her.  What a deal!!  She kept trying to call that night but we didn't answer the phone which of course pissed her off.  One of her messages was to put her clothes in a big garbage bag that she would pick up the next day.

4-26-12
She has spent 3 nights in the shed.  We haven't heard from her but I image she is going to want to come over to shower.  Plus it is really windy today, REALLY WINDY, so I won't be surprised to get a guest tonight.  Geez.
Well, we went to bed but didn't turn on the alarm thinking she might just show up.  About 9:30 the dogs started getting a little bothered and barking.  I didn't hear anything but got up and looked out the window and everything looked ok with the garage door down.  I told Kal that I was going to turn on the alarm, walked out into the hall and there she was walking around in the dark.  I said "she's here sneaking around."
Turn's out she was having problems with her neighbor.  Imagine that!  Every single neighbor she has lived by she has problems with and it's so ironic that it's always their fault.  She even  pulled a gun on this one.  Oh what now?

4-29-12
Well, she's out of the shed and back here again.  It's Eric's birthday and as we were driving over there she tells us not to get her a present for Mother's Day.  I'm thinking because of everything we have done for her here the past few weeks.  Meals, laundry, shopping, utilities, coffee and expensive creamer to boot.  Oh no, she goes on to tell us to just give her money.  What in the world is she thinking?

4-30-12
My day off and I hate it when she hangs around here.  Today is laundry day so, oh fuck, she's not going to leave for awhile so I go outside to work in the tomato patch.  I'm raking the dirt and she comes out and asks, "are you raking?"  DUH!  Then she looks at the dirt and says, "do you have your tomatoes in?"

5-1-12
7:20 am, I've taken a day off to work in the yard and she's still snoozing away even though she told us she had to be somewhere at 7:30.  Another fun day off.

5-7-12
Nothing extraordinarily new this week, same old shit.  She really has it made, a place to stay, sleep in to what ever hour, all meals.  It would be nice.  On one day she tells Kal that she is going to extend her tenants lease and that she might as well just make our house her base forever.  Then yesterday it was she is going to move back into her place at the end of the month.  Tomorrow will be another thought I'm sure.

5-21-12
Last week little Miss Drama Queen packed up all of her things and was going to move out, to where, I don't know but she said correctly she was causing too much chaos in our life.  Of course Kal talked her out of it so back she comes.  During this time period we found out that staying at Richard's place in Phoenix wasn't going to work for Memorial Day weekend.  The owner was still going to be there with her dog and he might not be able to get the time off.  I started looking for a place to stay but knowing that the dogs were going to have to stay here with MIL.  Kal said that he didn't have to go to the convention and we both sat down and talked about how concerned we were with MIL staying with the babies.  Sometimes she doesn't show up until after 8pm which is way too long for them to be alone and not have their treats.  I was also concerned that she wouldn't water my plants and tomatoes either.  We decided to just take the weekend off together and stay home.  We are going to have a get together with some friends and neighbors on the Sunday over Memorial Day weekend.

Do I really need to say it again?  The plan was that when she sold her house in town she was going to take the proceeds and put in a little prefab house on her property and spend the rest of her horses lives there with them.  Then on another day she says she wants to put in a room here and go back and forth to the horses (which is what we didn't want her to do).  Now this morning Kal says not only does she want to sell her house in town but she is going to sell the property and horses too and then move in with us.  He knows better then that.  She will NEVER sell her horses.  I reminded him that wasn't the plan and I'm not on board with this thinking.  He got a little huffy and left the house.  He still must be still peeved with me because he hasn't returned my texts or call about lunch today.  I did text Francine and told her the four of us need to get together because things are getting out of hand and she agreed stating she has my back.

Then this morning Kal left for work leaving me with sleeping beauty.  She got up at 8:30 and it was, why didn't you wake me up?  I told Efren to wake me before he left.  I told her it wasn't my job.  She left for the temp agency at 9:30 and was back an hour later and said those "stupid idiots" shred her file.  This is one of the things that drive me up a wall, everything that happens to her it is somebody else fault.  Nothing, I mean nothing is ever her fault.

Memorial Day Weekend 2012
Besides the usual 3 day weekend, I took 4 days off and Kal took 5, including the Friday before and that's when it kind of started.  Kal went to the First Financial to see about our home equity loan and his mom called when he was with the loan officer.  Instead of letting it go to voice mail he pick it up and when he told her where he was, she yells loud enough for the person helping Kal to hear, "tell them I hate them.".  So that evening when she showed up after 8pm he told her how inappropriate she was when she called.  Well, as we all know, MIL is never wrong so she got mad at Kal and it went through to the next morning.  We are sitting in the family room and it's "why are you here Kevin?  Shouldn't you be at work?" then she just walks past Kal without a word.  We had gotten her a breakfast burrito and I told her about it being in the warming drawer and told her we were going to the laundry mat to wash the rugs in the bathrooms.  By the time we got back she wrote me a note saying she wasn't going to be home tonight.  It looked pretty clear to us that she had packed up her clothes and took everything with her except the cell phone which was left here

We had made wagers on Sunday to see if she was going to come back for the party or not.  We thought since Baby Jesus was going to be here she was going to come but I thought she wasn't.  I was right, she didn't show up so it was a really nice party.  Monday we had a nice breakfast and watched a movie and were about a third through a second when I heard the door from the garage close and I thought, of fuck, she's here and sure enough she was.  She then announces that she had come early to help with the party.  I tell her it was yesterday so once again it was our fault for not calling everyone in Los Lunas to try and find her and let her know the party was on Sunday.  Then it was the old I guess I could have died and no one would know about it.  Now she is here again.  Holy Crap.

It's been awhile.

The House on Madison
It's now the end of June and an offer has been made on her house.  There was the counter offer and it was accepted.  Can it be this is really going to happen?  All I know is a lot of crap can happen between now and when and if the closing is going to happen.  The other day when I mentioned to her about checking out the prefab homes I got, "I'm not going to look into another house until I get rid of this one."  I know it is just another way to hold back.  If there is anyway this sale can be sabotaged, she will find it.  Last week the inspection came in and of course there were a lot of things wrong with the house but of course she didn't agree with it at all.  They want her to drop the price another 9000.00 and that won't happen because then she won't have enough money for her house.  Also, her renters have vacated her house and she is looking for ways to not have to pay them their deposit back, basically because she doesn't have the money.  Not really sure how she is going to make her house payments because her rent payment took care of that.  Oh well, not my concern.

Her Job
She started her job handing out lunches to underprivileged kids at Chelwood Park up by Lomas and Tramway which is about 7 miles from our house which is about the same amount of miles I drive to work.  She got the job through the employment agency and is paid about $10/hr for 3 hours a day.  Some of the dillies she has come up are amazing.  She said she is going to ask them for more money because she has to drive so far to work.  REALLY?  Then one day she actually told us she told her boss that she needs to be paid at least 2nd year pay because of the distance she has to drive.  She said he just starred at me.  I'm surprised he didn't fire her.

The Thumb
Kal smashed his thumb in a power hose at work on Fri. the 24th and had to go to the emergency room.  When he got home the thumb is lacerated and the nail is broken in half with the tip of the thumb broken.  On Sunday I got everything set up to change his bandage with Nurse Stella looking on.  "Don't you have surgical scissors?", "Did you wash your hands?", "That bandage is touching the filthy counter.", "You can't do this, you need to do that, be careful!"  I finally had it and stormed  out of the room saying, "She thinks I'm a fucking idiot!!"  Not a peep from the two of them in the kitchen.

7-10-12
Well, she has finally signed the contract to sell her house on Madison and the closing is set for this Friday the 13th (oh shit) or maybe the 14th but of course she is being so secretive about any details.  I talked to Eric when he stopped over and he said I should be blunt like him.  He told me that he told her that he would kick her fucking ass out of the house.  So on Monday morning after Kal went to work I asked Stella, "So you are closing the end of the week, have you thought what your are going to do?"  Holly crap, she whirls around and says in the fucking tone of voice I hate, "Boy, Kevin, you really want me out of here don't you?"  OK so I've decided to not be the woosie boy any more and did tell her it is a struggle having her here and we wish that she had kept to her word about getting that pre-fab on her property liked she  promised.  The response was that her horses are dieing and it wouldn't be feasible to live there.  Like usual, the drama queen stormed out of the house and I saw her sitting in her car for at least 10 minutes before she drove away.  Come to find out she called both of her mijos crying about how horrible and mean I was to her.
As it worked out as expected the closing got called off.  She completely sabotaged the deal just as I expected then didn't want to give the people their earnest money back because they inconvenienced her so much.

So with the deal off she said she would move back into her house which proved to be more difficult then originally thought.  With Kal's thumb not up to par the only day the two of us could get her things was on a Sunday.  We had committed to two Sundays to sign people up at church for the Dinners for Eight groups which meant we couldn't do anything until the heat of the day.  Then a beacon of hope came from Minnesota when Aracelli and Allen came to visit.  Allen was wonderful and had Kal rent a UHaul and the three of them went to her property and got most of her things moved back to her house.  (I was working that day)

8-20-12
OK so she has moved back into her house but it's not like she is gone.  Every night, every single night she comes over for dinner at whatever time she likes and doesn't mind creating a drama situation just about every time she comes here.  Some highlights:

• Should I refinance?  Should I get a reverse mortgage?  and now Should I sell my house?
• My renters are taking me to court because they want their deposit back.  They will just have to take it a little at a time.  Don't worry about it I've taken care of it. (by writing a check and stopping payment on it).
• I need $800 to pay them, which we did.
• I have a horse that can't even stand but I'm not going to kill my horses, I just pray God will take him.
• Uses the computer so long we go to bed then comes into the room..."EFREN! are you asleep?
• Shows up at 8:30, Kal has already gone to bed and sits eating in the kitchen talking to Eric on the phone and crying the whole time.
• While in Las Vegas she calls on Sunday pissed off she has a flat and we weren't there to help her out with our AAA card.  Then even more pissed that Kal wasn't going to be in town to take her to Santa Fe on Monday.

9-6-12
We went to La Jolla for a week.  Just the two of us and the nice family.

9-22-12
Well, little Miss "If you give me a cell phone I'll only use for emergencies."  Well she had 1262 minutes of emergencies last month putting our 1400 shared minute plan over causing the phone bill to go over $260.  Kal went to the phone place and upgraded us to unlimited minutes and getting us new cell phones.  I know have something that starts with an i, with my iphone.  He got his mom a new phone because she kept whining about how bad her phone was.  Does she like it?  NO!  Does she try to learn how to use it NO!  So last Saturday, Kal takes her to get a new phone after stopping by the store to bring me my lunch.  I notice MIL grazing in the bulk section trying samples of everything and sticking her hand into the bins.  I try to pretend I don't know her.  So he takes her to the phone store and after wasting the employees time decides to keep her phone.

The Move

Stella, Stella, Stella, what a piece of work you are. You never cease to amaze me with the things you say and the things you do but this one is really taking the cake as far as I'm concerned. Stella, MIL, always comes out with the most bizarre statements about what she is going to do with her life and living situation, from selling her house to moving in with us (NOT!!!). A few weeks ago her latest announcement was that not only has she decided to rent her house as she has threatened to do many time but she actually has some people lined up thanks to Eric and Francine. Those two pieces of work are another story.

She told us the people were going to move in on Memorial Day weekend. When we asked her what were her plans for her living situation we got the,"oh, I'm going to get a trailer and put it out on my property." to "I think I'll just live in a tent." In other words, she had nothing, NOTHING planned. We informed her like we had a number of times that we were planning on going to Phoenix on Thurs. the 26th and weren't going to be back until Mon. the 30th so she will have to do this on her own because her mijo wasn't going to be there to help her out.

On to the piano. The MIL has a baby grand piano that isn't in the greatest shape after years of her rolling it around on tile floors and moving it a few times and the peddles have fallen off of it too. She tells us, doesn't ask us, that the piano will be coming to our house. This has happened a few times in the past and I have always said no because it will have so many strings attached to it that it would never work out. Thankfully in the past it never got that far but it looked like it was going to happen this time. I called a piano mover to get their rate which was quoted at $175 so I told Kal that we were not going to pay for the move, that it was up to his mother and he agreed. Keep in mind, no one asked me to call the movers, I did it because I was curious. So Sun. the 22nd she asks when the piano movers were coming to get the piano. Once again she just assumed that we had done it and then when we told her the price it was "I'm not going to pay $175, I can get someone to do it for $60." OK, fine, do it, we won't bother. Then about 2 days before leaving for Phoenix, it was another, did you get someone to move the piano? No because you said you were going to find someone to do it for $60. We found someone who will do it for $175 and again, "What! I'm not going to pay that much money to move a piano.". So as it turned out, Kal called and because of the Memorial Day holiday the soonest they could move it was Tues. the 31st, two days after she told her renters they could move in.

Thank god we were going to Phoenix. The day before we were leaving she was over and we told her we were going to be gone until Mon. and she had no recollection of our telling her that. Then she asked about the piano and we told her AGAIN that they were going to be there Tues. which she completely forgot about too. On Thurs. while driving to Phoenix Kal's cell phone rings and what I hear on my end is; We are almost to Holbrook, AZ....I told you, I don't know how many times we were going to Arizona....They are coming Monday to get the piano....It's going to be $175....I told you it was going to cost you that much.

After four nights of being out of town the day came when we had to go back to Albuquerque and to the craziness here. Kal left his cell phone at the convention center so there was no way for Stella to contact her mijo, but she had my number. Kal was getting sick and was thinking of working 1/2 day on Tues. and I was going to take it off anyway. So Tues. comes and Stella says she is working until 11am but wants "to borrow" my truck to bring the last few thing to the storage. I'm not really sure who did it but she did have someone take the heavy furniture to the storage unit but she didn't have them take a number of boxes in the house. So by the time we heard from her it was almost 3 in the afternoon. We went over and there weren't a few boxes but a lot of boxes all over the piano, in the dining area and in the garage. Most of the shit she should have gone through weeks ago and got rid of but no we had to move boxes of books like, How to learn Italian. Plus she had a closet full of clothes in the front hall she thought she could just leave there. We couldn't get it all in before the storage place closed and we didn't even get to the garage things. In the meantime the piano movers did come and bring the damn thing to our house and I brought Stella over with her check book because I know how she works and we were not going to pay for this move and we didn't. Wed. I took what what was left in the truck over.

So in the meantime, we asked her about where she is living. She told us her friend Sharon told her she could stay there awhile and house sit for her when she goes to California on the 9th of June. Then she loves to drop these little bomb shells like how she has been sleeping in her car at her property which just drives Kal up the wall.

I really shouldn't be surprised by her actions but yet, I am. Yesterday was just another stone she keeps tossing at us trying to stone us to death. She still had a bunch of shit in her garage and "supposedly" the tenants told her to come at 1:30 to get it. So she actually showed up at 1:30 then promptly fell asleep on the couch. When Sleeping Beauty awoke the two of them headed over to the house to find the tenants weren't home. So back here they come where she left them a message to call our phone number not her cell number. So she said she was going to go back to Los Lunas and Kal told her he would get her shit Monday after work.

Kelly and Roy had invited us nearly 2 months ago to Kelly's birthday/pool party and it was to start at 4:00 so we were getting ready to head over there and have a nice evening. Why oh why didn't we leave at 3:59 because at 4:01 she calls and tells Kal that she has pulled out everything from the garage and he needed to get over there to load up. I wish he just would have told her to fuck off but no he had to go over there and load up all of her crap, and it really is crap. So I went to the party by myself and he spent the evening with Stella and her crap. Now it's all here either in the back of my truck, in the driveway or in the garage.

Random thoughts

I think I'll keep this as an ongoing thing that I can just punch into.

1. If the object of your argument is your MIL and the things she does, is your MIL coming between you? I'd say yes to this one. This past weekend was pretty good except for two arguments and neither of them would have happened if it weren't for his mother. Sunday, we had to sneak off to the early service at church so we wouldn't have to go with Stella but Kal being Kal ended up calling her afterward to go to breakfast with us. No she couldn't just meet us there we had to drive out of our way to pick her up and when the bill came she made no effort whatsoever to pick it up or help us out with the tip. We dropped her off at her house and thought we would have the day to ourselves. Buahh ha ha, what the hell was I thinking? She calls with the, Mijo, take me to Costco B.S. which he does of course. It's her ploy to get him to end up paying for her stuff so I tell Kal to let her pay for her own things and not use the American Express because we need to pay off our credit cards.

Well, I must have been naive to think Kal could go to Costco and not buy anything, it's just impossible, it's not in his DNA makeup. He comes home and told me he put over $200 on the American Express and I hit the ceiling. He gives me this "excuse" that he had to because they wouldn't take his mom's check. Wrong! That's why we got her the membership so they would take her checks. Plus I asked him to not put it on the American Express and he did. He said his mom's portion was $100 which means he spent over $100 on things we couldn't live without, like $65 worth of DVDs. Thus the first argument of the weekend that wouldn't have taken place but did because of her. As I see it, if his mom never called to have him take her to Costco, he wouldn't have gone either and we wouldn't have put $200 on our card.

The second argument happened on Monday evening when, like usual I prepared enough food for three when the phone rings at 6:30 and she says she is going to stay in Los Lunas. I snap at Kal that I am over making, and wasting food for her whims. On one hand I should be happy she didn't come over but on the other hand I'm big on giving notice. If I had known earlier in the day she wasn't going to be there I could have gone through the afternoon happy and peaceful, but no she is always in the back of my head. I finally told Kal that was it, I'm sick of her coming over whenever the hell she wants at whatever time as well. I want a set schedule such as she comes and eats here on Mon., Wed., Fri. nights but we need one full weekend day from awakening to bedtime alone without seeing her at all. Plus, the nights we do ask her over she needs to be here when we eat, I'm tired of her strolling in whenever she wants and expects to be waited on. We eat at 6:30 period, if you aren't here, I guess you miss dinner. I really think I'm being generous with our time but I have yet to see Kal do or say anything to her about it.

Case in point she calls last night about 6:30 inquiring about what's for dinner tonight and what did we have last night blah blah and says to Kal she'll be over to eat. I told Kal, great, I have a few things I want to talk to her about concerning coming over but he told me not to say anything to her, that he would take care of it. I just wonder when this will happen.

Feb 23. OK it has been a week now since Kal told me he would take care of things and nothing yet. I'm still waiting. She still can come over whenever she wants to at night and no consequences. The other day was a crack up when she said since she came over all the time to eat our food she wanted to "pitch in" with some groceries. She brought over a 40 oz jar of ranch dressing and a cantaloupe. I fricken hate cantaloupes.

Geez, Kal told me last night that Tina wanted us to come over for another rosary for Eric and Francine on Thurs. It's less then two weeks since the last one so I graciously said no thank you, not this time. Besides its Survivor night.

This afternoon I asked Kal if his mother was going to go to the rosary and he told me that Eric didn't want her there because of the negative energy she brings. So I'm thinking to myself oh great, Kal is going to Eric's and I'm going to be here when MIL shows up. I guess I have to be honest and tell her that her Mijo is praying. What hypocrites, praying for the good but not everyone is allowed to come.

Jump! How high?

It's amazing. I can't tell you how much I was really looking forward to having a nice quiet evening ALONE with Kal and watching the season premier of Survivor, H vs V but of course when it comes to this family I am feeling once again what I want really doesn't matter. When it comes to his mother or brother Kal just can't be firm with them and tell them no. I'm not really sure why he wants to please them so much when all they do is take advantage of him.

Case in point 1: Over the holidays when BJ had his little kiosk at the mall to sell his statues and things he asked Kal if he would help him out and had him work three times a week for at least four hours a day without pay. Kal of course did that and told BJ that he would do more if he needed. What does BJ do to show his appreciation, he takes Kal off the schedule once so he could have Francine's best friends son work and he paid him!

Case in point 2: He can't say no to his mother either especially when it comes to dinner in the evening. It's my fault as well because I still always make enough food to feed her but I am really getting over it. It's bad enough when she just comes over whenever she feels like it or calls and asks "what's for dinner." but when we don't hear from her Kal feels the need to call and ask her where she is, did she eat? and to come over. Come on, he thinks she is unable to feed herself and even when she says no (which may be once a month) he pleads for her to come and eat even when we are finished and the kitchen is cleaned up.

Now that Kal is working full time I hardly get the chance to see him so I really don't want to share him every night with his mother. That's why when she left on Wed. night she told us she wouldn't come over on Thurs. because it is my TV night and I was thrilled to have a night alone for a change. The evening started to disintegrate when BJ called about 6:15 and I was listening to Kal talking to him. Some of the things I heard were "sure bro" "we'll be there" "see you tomorrow at 6:30". When I asked Kal where will we be at 6:30 and what day will this happen? He told me that "the family" is going to get together at BJ's house on Friday to have a rosary read to pray for Eric and Francine and all the problems (his embezzlement trial) going on in their lives. Francine's mom Tina is going to lead it and I could go but didn't have to participate in it.

They got that one right. First off I'm not Catholic and I don't understand the rosary, that's going to be my main excuse for not participating. Secondly I think the whole thing of praying for BJ is hypocritical. In my opinion, if he weren't guilty on some level why in the world would you be need to be prayed for? The thing about this whole thing I find astonishing is, if I were accused of embezzling thousands of dollars and I knew I didn't do it I would be shouting it from the tops of the mountains. I would be doing my damnedest to talk to and convince everyone I know, especially those in or related to my family and let them know this couldn't be and isn't possible that I could be guilty of this crime. I have yet to see that from Eric. I hear that he has a lot of evidence he could present against his old boss and the old there are two sides of every story, but not once, not a peep from him saying "I didn't do it." So yes, I do think he is guilty and this praying bull shit just doesn't sit well with me.

So back to the evening; after the prayer announcement I served dinner for Kal and myself thinking I've timed it just right to finish and hunker in to watch Survivor at 7:00. Well, sure as hell at 6:54 the phone rings and it's his mom asking Kal her typical bull shit questions of "did I call at dinner?" "what did Kevin make?" then the "I haven't eaten all day" line. True to form Kal told her to come over but we were watching Survivor. I swear she must have been across the street when she called because the door bell rang less then a minute after they hung up. Thank god for the ability to pause live TV because I had to hit the button while the queen entered and do her phony bologna high pitched greeting to the dogs in spanish. She gets her food then starts in about the parents at her school, the administration and someone said this about that and the woman who helped her secure a position at the school has an inferiority complex, blah blah. All the while she is talking it is in that tone of voice that is so condescending and ugly it just sends chills up my spine. I'm thinking the whole time that I'm sure this is the same tone of voice she is using at her school. I can't help but think she used the same tone of voice and the same anger in the other three schools she was "let go" (think; fired) from in the past five years. If I was in a position of authority and she talked to my in that ugly way I would fire her. So after this little tirade she asks us if we are going to Eric's tomorrow for the prayer meeting. Kal told her it was a rosery and he was planning on going and he didn't know if I was going so then she perks up all happy, "oh I'll ride with you mijo."

So after pausing my show for about 25 minutes I was able to start watching but had to keep pausing when she was talking or going into the kitchen before finally leaving. So my night didn't happen, my night never happens. Now it is about 4:15 on Friday, 2 hours and 15 minutes until prayer central takes place, I can't wait. Woo fucking hoo!

Beemer----again

I'm getting sick of MIL's problems she always continues to have and it is always up to us to fix it. I keep asking Kal why is it ALWAYS when she has a problem it ALWAYS becomes our emergency. That old BMW of hers is nothing but a money pit. It doesn't have to be but since she doesn't take care of it the car has nothing to do but fall apart. I don't know how many months we have told her when she leaves the house she also leaves a puddle in the driveway from her car. Does she do anything about it when the problem is new and can be fixed pretty easy? Noooo.... she has to wait until the car can barely be driven. Now all of a sudden the radiator is shot and isn't holding liquid and she can't drive it so who does she come to? Yeah, us and as always Kal ends up giving her the Jeep. My fear of fears is that she will get into an accident with the Jeep and because of it's age we will end up having to go further into debt to get another vehicle and she won't offer up a dime. I can even bet right here and now she wouldn't even pay the deductible. It will somehow be our fault.

Of course when shit like this happens Baby Jesus won't help out at all. It's basically just fuck off and he doesn't care one way or another about his mom or us for that matter. He and Francine are very selfish and couldn't be counted on to help us for anything as far as I'm concerned.

A few months ago it was the same thing about her car when it was having problems and had to go to the shop. It was about $400 to fix it and of course MIL told us she didn't have the money and her credit cards were maxed out. Does baby Jesus volunteer to help pay this bill, fuck no, so we ended up paying for it and as expected there has been no mention or effort to pay us back for it. What was our option? Don't pay for it and let her use the Jeep and run it into the ground? Let her walk? Once again, MIL wins we lose as it has been for the last nine years and there is no way I can think of that this will ever change. As my dad would say about people and I'll apply it to MIL is; I pity her because she is so pitiful.

So now back to the Beemer and the radiator. Not only does MIL know everything about the school systems, finances or whatever she now is an expert on car problems. I got roped into being the one to call to take / pick up or whatever needs to be done because Kal is working and needs to take the Jeep to work. I got a message on the phone this morning at 8:15 and she says the mechanic told her the radiator is plastic and will need to be replaced at around $200. Her message to me is she told the mechanic the radiator is metal and that she will find someplace else to take it followed by the pitiful, "what do you think Kevin?" Knowing better then to fall into this pit I called back and left a message that I don't know that much about cars so I am not the person to ask about repairs. I may have been born at night (not really) but I wasn't born last night. So now I am waiting for the next phase on the ongoing Beemer saga.

Last night

I'm getting so tired of my MIL and her coming over every night. Really! I would love to just make enough food for Kal and me for dinner but I know that she will come over like she does just about every single night. It's my fault for not setting up boundaries years ago regarding Kal's and my personal time although Kal doesn't support me either. (more later)

Margaret had given me one of those pork tenderloins frozen in shrink to fit plastic that you just put into boiling water for awhile, cut open and serve. I thought that would be good on mashed potatoes so I got vegi-burgers for Kal and had some asparagus that I made for dinner. Of course I cooked all 4 of the vegi-burgers so the MIL would have some too. Some nights she calls with her phony bologna, "I haven't eaten a thing all day." or more to the point, "What's for dinner?" but last night there wasn't any call so we sat down a little before 7pm. So true to form after we ate and were putting things away there is the door bell. Kal told her to get her own plate because we were starting to watch the State of the Union. She sat there shoving the food in her mouth without a single thank you, this is good, nothing - nada - zilch and I am getting more and more angry.

Then Kal made the mistake of asking her if she knew about the computer program, Excel? What? Kal knows much more about computers then she does but yet she answered with a definitive "Sure!". I knew that Kal had to be at work early the next day and he said he was planning on going to bed early but the two of them were back there for the longest time. I started watching American Idol and then the two of them came out. I kept thinking "she's going to leave, she's going to leave" but no. Then it's 10pm and nothing so I start putting the dogs out and closing up the house. 10:15 she's still here and wants to watch the weather and I'm in bed. She missed it on TV so has Kal look it up on the computer before she finally leaves.

I have taken my anger to bed with me and the more Kal was trying to cuddle or hold me the more I was pushing him away. I take total blame for this and am not proud of my actions. Then at 3am the dogs decide it is time to go outside again which I do naked. Kal got up and Maggie was still outside having problems pooping so I told him to go back to bed. When Maggie came back in she had shit all over her ass so I took her into the bathroom to clean her up which caused the other two to go crazy. Finally with the clean dog we all fell deep asleep until about 5am when Kal had to get up and get ready for work.

Think we will all be a tired today.

End of the month worries

Here it is again, the end of the month and I have to go through my anxieties once again. One relief is Kal started working again last week but my worries, the thing I do the best grabbed hold. He started on Tues. and had to tell them he wouldn't be there on Fri. or the next Mon. because he was heading to San Francisco to go to yet another Star Trek convention. He wanted me to go but I know we didn't need to add another airfare plus the meals and purchases to our debt. Then we would have to pay someone to take care of the dogs so I said I would just stay home. I really don't mind and actually kind of like my solitude so I basically barricaded myself at home with my meat. Lindy came on Friday and we watched a movie had some snacks and a screwdriver. Come to find out MIL complained (what's new) that I didn't ask her over. I really wonder why the hell would I ask her over, I don't like her and she doesn't like me so what da? I am so thankful that I could have 4 days alone without her intrusions although she threatened us that she will come by tonight.

Anxiety relaxed today when Kal went into work and everything seems to be going good. He's out in the field and has a meeting with his boss this afternoon. I know these anxieties are still a result of the years of living with Walt and his lack of keeping employment. I would like to be able to get out there and work too but who wants a 53 year old dude that hasn't worked for 8 years. I don't want to keep asking for money from Tom but what can I do? I don't want to lose the house but would be willing to move to someplace smaller if we can be able to not have so much debt. I think that now is a good (the best) time to talk to Wendy and sell the cabin now that she is in financial problems too.

Not much more now but am going to try this box for labels for this post. Maybe then I can come back and write more about what I've started.

New Year, new problem

Eeeholay, the new year was only a few days old when the family's newest and probably biggest problem to date fell on our laps. Eric had been working for a hard wood flooring company since before I moved here in 01. It was the most bizarre business I had ever witnessed. His boss, Bob had the worst temper I had ever witnessed. He would blow up at his employees in front of us using language that would make a long shore man's hair curl. I maybe would have taken it once before walking out the door but was amazed Eric could hang in there and usually give it right back to Bob. It was very uncomfortable being at his office and hated to go there.

Eric was the office manager and was on the list of company officers and often told us that Bob didn't even know how to send a FAX so it was left up to Eric to do everything for the company. He had a company credit card and was in charge of all the finances including payroll.

A few years ago when Eric and Francine started getting all new furniture and a big screen TV Kal and I joked that maybe Eric was moving money around the company so they could get all of this "stuff". It was at this same time they were trying to get pregnant but due to both of their plumbing problems they were looking into invetro-fertilization and had two procedures that didn't work.

Last year Bob called Eric in and told him to gather all his stuff up and get out of the office immediately. Bob told him that after going through the books it was clear that Eric had embezzled about 90K from the business and they were going to go after him. Eric seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing thinking the company would recuperate their losses through insurance.

Well, guess what? Last week the Grand Jury heard the case and found Eric liable in about 12 charges of embezzlement so he and Francine wanted to gather the family (his) to tell us about it. Eric seemed too cool about it, Francine cried and seemed pretty convinced Eric was going to jail and MIL turned everything into "it's all about me" as usual talking about the time in El Paso when these guys were selling watermelons and she got arrested and put on a terrorist list and blah blah. After getting that off her chest the next thing was that the police have nothing better to do then harass Mexicans.

So there we are sitting around the table talking about the "what ifs". Eric and Francine are pretty much on line with the fact that they have to sell their house and move into an apartment. MIL told them they could move into her house but the last time that happened everything went to hell in a handbag. Does anyone really think it would be better now? Oh puhleez! Then MIL said she would put her house up for sale and if it sold Eric could have the proceeds and she would move in with her friend Sharon. Sharon may be her friend now but I know that the writing is on the wall that won't last long. MIL does not have any friends because of her personality and temper. She is the queen of being a victim because as far as she is concerned she is right and everyone else is a stupid idiot. Is it just a coincidence that in five years she has worked at three different schools in three different school districts? And that each of those principals were ass holes who didn't know anything.

OK I'm far from being a fan of MIL's and really love the periods when she is pissed off at us and doesn't come by or call but I think she is making a huge mistake if she sells her house for Eric. Number one, that is all she has and if she gives the money to Eric when (not if) she has that fight with Sharon she won't have any place to live and have no money and I fear she will want to move in with us. Knowing Kal is such a mush ball when it comes to his mom I know he will let her just like last summer when I really felt there was going to be a body found at our house. Number two, in my opinion Eric knows much more then he is telling us and I don't think he has a problem taking down his family with him. He knows his mom's financial position and I don't think he cares because I know he is thinking Kal and I will take her in, not him.

Another pisser is I sat there listening for the most part and when I heard MIL going on and on about helping out her mijo Eric financially the madder I was getting. I thought to myself why the fuck is she so worried about getting Eric money when she has owed me over $4500 for over 6 years without even one whisper about paying me back. Back when Efren Sr. passed away in 03 she didn't have the money to pay for his funeral and I was stupid enough to believe her story about how she could have me paid back within 4 months and "loaned" her the money. I still feel like a fucking chump when I think about that and of course Eric and Francine never made any effort to pay me anything to help out either.

I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that Kal hasn't mentioned our giving anything to help out his brother financially and he better not because as far as I'm concerned it ain't going to happen.

Introduction of charactors

Here it is the first month of 2010 and I'm starting my blog. Woo Hoo! I wish I had started this years ago because by now it really would be full of the "I can't believe this is true" postings of my crazy life I have had here in the past nine years. I sometimes wonder how did a gay white boy from northern Colorado end up in Albuquerque with my new Hispanic family. I've got to admit since living here it has been the best time of my life mixed in with some of the most bizarre times. Never a dull moment.

Introduction of main characters:

Me: see profile

Efren Kaleb (Kal): my partner / husband / friend I call him Kal because that is how he introduced himself to me on New Years Eve 00 - 01. My family, our neighbors and people who go to our church also know him as Kal. Efren is his first name and that is what his family and friends who knew him before we met know him as. It gets a little confusing remembering who knows him as what and we have done two sets of Christmas cards with the Kal batch and the Efren batch.

Efren Sr.: Kal's father who passed away in 2003.

Stella: Full name is Estella but I'll usually refer to her as MIL (mother in law), Kal's mom who will end up playing a huge part of our lives.

Eric: Kal's brother aka Manny short for manipulator and Baby Jesus (BJ) because he is just that in his mother's eyes as he walks on water.

Francine: Eric's wife aka Mary Magdalene due to her relationship with BJ.

Wendy: My sister who lives in North Carolina but has enough pull to yank my chain from there.

Various family members, friends and neighbors will be introduced later.

How I'm thinking this will work is this. The fresh ideas will be written first but there has been so much that happened already I will have to place them in when I can. With this family there will be plenty to write about. I tell people things that have happened and it is usually a reaction of disbelief or so what else is new?

OK here goes.............