I'm getting so tired of my MIL and her coming over every night. Really! I would love to just make enough food for Kal and me for dinner but I know that she will come over like she does just about every single night. It's my fault for not setting up boundaries years ago regarding Kal's and my personal time although Kal doesn't support me either. (more later)
Margaret had given me one of those pork tenderloins frozen in shrink to fit plastic that you just put into boiling water for awhile, cut open and serve. I thought that would be good on mashed potatoes so I got vegi-burgers for Kal and had some asparagus that I made for dinner. Of course I cooked all 4 of the vegi-burgers so the MIL would have some too. Some nights she calls with her phony bologna, "I haven't eaten a thing all day." or more to the point, "What's for dinner?" but last night there wasn't any call so we sat down a little before 7pm. So true to form after we ate and were putting things away there is the door bell. Kal told her to get her own plate because we were starting to watch the State of the Union. She sat there shoving the food in her mouth without a single thank you, this is good, nothing - nada - zilch and I am getting more and more angry.
Then Kal made the mistake of asking her if she knew about the computer program, Excel? What? Kal knows much more about computers then she does but yet she answered with a definitive "Sure!". I knew that Kal had to be at work early the next day and he said he was planning on going to bed early but the two of them were back there for the longest time. I started watching American Idol and then the two of them came out. I kept thinking "she's going to leave, she's going to leave" but no. Then it's 10pm and nothing so I start putting the dogs out and closing up the house. 10:15 she's still here and wants to watch the weather and I'm in bed. She missed it on TV so has Kal look it up on the computer before she finally leaves.
I have taken my anger to bed with me and the more Kal was trying to cuddle or hold me the more I was pushing him away. I take total blame for this and am not proud of my actions. Then at 3am the dogs decide it is time to go outside again which I do naked. Kal got up and Maggie was still outside having problems pooping so I told him to go back to bed. When Maggie came back in she had shit all over her ass so I took her into the bathroom to clean her up which caused the other two to go crazy. Finally with the clean dog we all fell deep asleep until about 5am when Kal had to get up and get ready for work.
Think we will all be a tired today.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
End of the month worries
Here it is again, the end of the month and I have to go through my anxieties once again. One relief is Kal started working again last week but my worries, the thing I do the best grabbed hold. He started on Tues. and had to tell them he wouldn't be there on Fri. or the next Mon. because he was heading to San Francisco to go to yet another Star Trek convention. He wanted me to go but I know we didn't need to add another airfare plus the meals and purchases to our debt. Then we would have to pay someone to take care of the dogs so I said I would just stay home. I really don't mind and actually kind of like my solitude so I basically barricaded myself at home with my meat. Lindy came on Friday and we watched a movie had some snacks and a screwdriver. Come to find out MIL complained (what's new) that I didn't ask her over. I really wonder why the hell would I ask her over, I don't like her and she doesn't like me so what da? I am so thankful that I could have 4 days alone without her intrusions although she threatened us that she will come by tonight.
Anxiety relaxed today when Kal went into work and everything seems to be going good. He's out in the field and has a meeting with his boss this afternoon. I know these anxieties are still a result of the years of living with Walt and his lack of keeping employment. I would like to be able to get out there and work too but who wants a 53 year old dude that hasn't worked for 8 years. I don't want to keep asking for money from Tom but what can I do? I don't want to lose the house but would be willing to move to someplace smaller if we can be able to not have so much debt. I think that now is a good (the best) time to talk to Wendy and sell the cabin now that she is in financial problems too.
Not much more now but am going to try this box for labels for this post. Maybe then I can come back and write more about what I've started.
Anxiety relaxed today when Kal went into work and everything seems to be going good. He's out in the field and has a meeting with his boss this afternoon. I know these anxieties are still a result of the years of living with Walt and his lack of keeping employment. I would like to be able to get out there and work too but who wants a 53 year old dude that hasn't worked for 8 years. I don't want to keep asking for money from Tom but what can I do? I don't want to lose the house but would be willing to move to someplace smaller if we can be able to not have so much debt. I think that now is a good (the best) time to talk to Wendy and sell the cabin now that she is in financial problems too.
Not much more now but am going to try this box for labels for this post. Maybe then I can come back and write more about what I've started.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
New Year, new problem
Eeeholay, the new year was only a few days old when the family's newest and probably biggest problem to date fell on our laps. Eric had been working for a hard wood flooring company since before I moved here in 01. It was the most bizarre business I had ever witnessed. His boss, Bob had the worst temper I had ever witnessed. He would blow up at his employees in front of us using language that would make a long shore man's hair curl. I maybe would have taken it once before walking out the door but was amazed Eric could hang in there and usually give it right back to Bob. It was very uncomfortable being at his office and hated to go there.
Eric was the office manager and was on the list of company officers and often told us that Bob didn't even know how to send a FAX so it was left up to Eric to do everything for the company. He had a company credit card and was in charge of all the finances including payroll.
A few years ago when Eric and Francine started getting all new furniture and a big screen TV Kal and I joked that maybe Eric was moving money around the company so they could get all of this "stuff". It was at this same time they were trying to get pregnant but due to both of their plumbing problems they were looking into invetro-fertilization and had two procedures that didn't work.
Last year Bob called Eric in and told him to gather all his stuff up and get out of the office immediately. Bob told him that after going through the books it was clear that Eric had embezzled about 90K from the business and they were going to go after him. Eric seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing thinking the company would recuperate their losses through insurance.
Well, guess what? Last week the Grand Jury heard the case and found Eric liable in about 12 charges of embezzlement so he and Francine wanted to gather the family (his) to tell us about it. Eric seemed too cool about it, Francine cried and seemed pretty convinced Eric was going to jail and MIL turned everything into "it's all about me" as usual talking about the time in El Paso when these guys were selling watermelons and she got arrested and put on a terrorist list and blah blah. After getting that off her chest the next thing was that the police have nothing better to do then harass Mexicans.
So there we are sitting around the table talking about the "what ifs". Eric and Francine are pretty much on line with the fact that they have to sell their house and move into an apartment. MIL told them they could move into her house but the last time that happened everything went to hell in a handbag. Does anyone really think it would be better now? Oh puhleez! Then MIL said she would put her house up for sale and if it sold Eric could have the proceeds and she would move in with her friend Sharon. Sharon may be her friend now but I know that the writing is on the wall that won't last long. MIL does not have any friends because of her personality and temper. She is the queen of being a victim because as far as she is concerned she is right and everyone else is a stupid idiot. Is it just a coincidence that in five years she has worked at three different schools in three different school districts? And that each of those principals were ass holes who didn't know anything.
OK I'm far from being a fan of MIL's and really love the periods when she is pissed off at us and doesn't come by or call but I think she is making a huge mistake if she sells her house for Eric. Number one, that is all she has and if she gives the money to Eric when (not if) she has that fight with Sharon she won't have any place to live and have no money and I fear she will want to move in with us. Knowing Kal is such a mush ball when it comes to his mom I know he will let her just like last summer when I really felt there was going to be a body found at our house. Number two, in my opinion Eric knows much more then he is telling us and I don't think he has a problem taking down his family with him. He knows his mom's financial position and I don't think he cares because I know he is thinking Kal and I will take her in, not him.
Another pisser is I sat there listening for the most part and when I heard MIL going on and on about helping out her mijo Eric financially the madder I was getting. I thought to myself why the fuck is she so worried about getting Eric money when she has owed me over $4500 for over 6 years without even one whisper about paying me back. Back when Efren Sr. passed away in 03 she didn't have the money to pay for his funeral and I was stupid enough to believe her story about how she could have me paid back within 4 months and "loaned" her the money. I still feel like a fucking chump when I think about that and of course Eric and Francine never made any effort to pay me anything to help out either.
I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that Kal hasn't mentioned our giving anything to help out his brother financially and he better not because as far as I'm concerned it ain't going to happen.
Eric was the office manager and was on the list of company officers and often told us that Bob didn't even know how to send a FAX so it was left up to Eric to do everything for the company. He had a company credit card and was in charge of all the finances including payroll.
A few years ago when Eric and Francine started getting all new furniture and a big screen TV Kal and I joked that maybe Eric was moving money around the company so they could get all of this "stuff". It was at this same time they were trying to get pregnant but due to both of their plumbing problems they were looking into invetro-fertilization and had two procedures that didn't work.
Last year Bob called Eric in and told him to gather all his stuff up and get out of the office immediately. Bob told him that after going through the books it was clear that Eric had embezzled about 90K from the business and they were going to go after him. Eric seemed pretty nonchalant about the whole thing thinking the company would recuperate their losses through insurance.
Well, guess what? Last week the Grand Jury heard the case and found Eric liable in about 12 charges of embezzlement so he and Francine wanted to gather the family (his) to tell us about it. Eric seemed too cool about it, Francine cried and seemed pretty convinced Eric was going to jail and MIL turned everything into "it's all about me" as usual talking about the time in El Paso when these guys were selling watermelons and she got arrested and put on a terrorist list and blah blah. After getting that off her chest the next thing was that the police have nothing better to do then harass Mexicans.
So there we are sitting around the table talking about the "what ifs". Eric and Francine are pretty much on line with the fact that they have to sell their house and move into an apartment. MIL told them they could move into her house but the last time that happened everything went to hell in a handbag. Does anyone really think it would be better now? Oh puhleez! Then MIL said she would put her house up for sale and if it sold Eric could have the proceeds and she would move in with her friend Sharon. Sharon may be her friend now but I know that the writing is on the wall that won't last long. MIL does not have any friends because of her personality and temper. She is the queen of being a victim because as far as she is concerned she is right and everyone else is a stupid idiot. Is it just a coincidence that in five years she has worked at three different schools in three different school districts? And that each of those principals were ass holes who didn't know anything.
OK I'm far from being a fan of MIL's and really love the periods when she is pissed off at us and doesn't come by or call but I think she is making a huge mistake if she sells her house for Eric. Number one, that is all she has and if she gives the money to Eric when (not if) she has that fight with Sharon she won't have any place to live and have no money and I fear she will want to move in with us. Knowing Kal is such a mush ball when it comes to his mom I know he will let her just like last summer when I really felt there was going to be a body found at our house. Number two, in my opinion Eric knows much more then he is telling us and I don't think he has a problem taking down his family with him. He knows his mom's financial position and I don't think he cares because I know he is thinking Kal and I will take her in, not him.
Another pisser is I sat there listening for the most part and when I heard MIL going on and on about helping out her mijo Eric financially the madder I was getting. I thought to myself why the fuck is she so worried about getting Eric money when she has owed me over $4500 for over 6 years without even one whisper about paying me back. Back when Efren Sr. passed away in 03 she didn't have the money to pay for his funeral and I was stupid enough to believe her story about how she could have me paid back within 4 months and "loaned" her the money. I still feel like a fucking chump when I think about that and of course Eric and Francine never made any effort to pay me anything to help out either.
I don't know what is going to happen but I do know that Kal hasn't mentioned our giving anything to help out his brother financially and he better not because as far as I'm concerned it ain't going to happen.
Introduction of charactors
Here it is the first month of 2010 and I'm starting my blog. Woo Hoo! I wish I had started this years ago because by now it really would be full of the "I can't believe this is true" postings of my crazy life I have had here in the past nine years. I sometimes wonder how did a gay white boy from northern Colorado end up in Albuquerque with my new Hispanic family. I've got to admit since living here it has been the best time of my life mixed in with some of the most bizarre times. Never a dull moment.
Introduction of main characters:
Me: see profile
Efren Kaleb (Kal): my partner / husband / friend I call him Kal because that is how he introduced himself to me on New Years Eve 00 - 01. My family, our neighbors and people who go to our church also know him as Kal. Efren is his first name and that is what his family and friends who knew him before we met know him as. It gets a little confusing remembering who knows him as what and we have done two sets of Christmas cards with the Kal batch and the Efren batch.
Efren Sr.: Kal's father who passed away in 2003.
Stella: Full name is Estella but I'll usually refer to her as MIL (mother in law), Kal's mom who will end up playing a huge part of our lives.
Eric: Kal's brother aka Manny short for manipulator and Baby Jesus (BJ) because he is just that in his mother's eyes as he walks on water.
Francine: Eric's wife aka Mary Magdalene due to her relationship with BJ.
Wendy: My sister who lives in North Carolina but has enough pull to yank my chain from there.
Various family members, friends and neighbors will be introduced later.
How I'm thinking this will work is this. The fresh ideas will be written first but there has been so much that happened already I will have to place them in when I can. With this family there will be plenty to write about. I tell people things that have happened and it is usually a reaction of disbelief or so what else is new?
OK here goes.............
Introduction of main characters:
Me: see profile
Efren Kaleb (Kal): my partner / husband / friend I call him Kal because that is how he introduced himself to me on New Years Eve 00 - 01. My family, our neighbors and people who go to our church also know him as Kal. Efren is his first name and that is what his family and friends who knew him before we met know him as. It gets a little confusing remembering who knows him as what and we have done two sets of Christmas cards with the Kal batch and the Efren batch.
Efren Sr.: Kal's father who passed away in 2003.
Stella: Full name is Estella but I'll usually refer to her as MIL (mother in law), Kal's mom who will end up playing a huge part of our lives.
Eric: Kal's brother aka Manny short for manipulator and Baby Jesus (BJ) because he is just that in his mother's eyes as he walks on water.
Francine: Eric's wife aka Mary Magdalene due to her relationship with BJ.
Wendy: My sister who lives in North Carolina but has enough pull to yank my chain from there.
Various family members, friends and neighbors will be introduced later.
How I'm thinking this will work is this. The fresh ideas will be written first but there has been so much that happened already I will have to place them in when I can. With this family there will be plenty to write about. I tell people things that have happened and it is usually a reaction of disbelief or so what else is new?
OK here goes.............
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